My new doctor's visit Monday. Not what I had hoped for, still nothing positive. Secondary Hyperparathyrodism sucks!

Well, I had a very long, hard day at the Endocrinologist Monday. A day full of pain and depression. It was as I had expected, no real help for Secondary Hyperparathyroidism. No tumors to remove and only medications to try to get all the levels back up to where they need to be. Had to do a whole bunch of new blood test, don't know when or if I will hear from them and even if I do, what's the difference????? He gave me a vitamin B12 nasal spray that is supposed to help the B12 go into my system faster but I can only use it once a week! I got a prescription for phosphorus but again, it's pills, I doubt my system will absorb them. I asked him about that but he said my body could absorb these, I guess we will wait and see. He also gave me a vitamin D3 in drops that I take once or twice a day. All this will take time, if it even works. He also made me an appointment with yet another new Gastro doctor,like I haven't seen them before so I expect nothing there. It is in Montgomery of course and I have to be there Monday morning at 8:00 a.m. again. It is very, very hard for me to get there that early. I wake up in so much pain I can barely walk must less dress and ride and hour and a half. By the time I get there I'm exhausted and in dire pain. I suppose I will go but I'm not expecting anything at all from this visit. Honestly I feel like the visit to the Endo was useless really. I haven't ruled out The Norman Clinic in Tampa yet either. I am going to call them or email them and ask them what they suggest since I've seen an Endo who didn't seem to think there as much to be done about this. Am I supposed to just keep lying here until I slowly die? I've become quiet depressed again. I thought I had hope since I had used this doctor before but now I wonder. He asked why I was at an Endo doctor and I told him that is what my PCP doctor told me to do. Of course one doctor thinks everything another doctor had done or is doing is wrong. The one bright spot of it was I did get to talk to a certified Nutritionist and she looked over my TPN bag and thought they needed to make big adjustments to it and told us what needed to be changed. We called Home Infusion who said they couldn't change anything unless Dr. Young said it could be changed. Now I'm not sure how in the world anybody can get to him to even discuss it because he's not accessible to patients at all and his nurses don't have a clue how important it is when I try to see him or tell him something and I'm given the run around again. It is just so depressing to think this is how I will be the rest of my life, which doesn't seem that far away really if I don't get better. I decided last night not to take the TPN anymore so I took it off myself. I decided why keep taking empty calories that aren't doing anything other than putting weight on me but the weight is useless unless it's making me healthier. There seems to be no answers for my problem. My hips and legs continue to be so painful I can barely walk without a rollater and then it's still more than I can stand most of the time. It seems the iron I took wasn't the right kind of iron of something like that. There are two kinds of anemia, I can't remember which is which but the Nutritionist said she didn't think I was getting the right infusion in the iron I got. Yet another problem between doctors who don't even talk to each other or try to get this all together to help me. I am expected to just go to a doctor when I'm told to go, and do whatever he says to do, which I've done all this time but I'm just really worn out from it all. Test after test after test. Now I do know what is wrong with me, I just don't seem to be able to find anybody who is trying to help me get better in a timely manner. All I ever hear is "it's going to take time". Well, I've had nothing but time. I see no better for myself at this point and honestly, I don't see the point of wanting to live at this point because I have no life past my bedroom. My husband is worn out from taking care of me, I've become a 24-7 patient and I am always in pain and he just honestly doesn't understand how bad the pain is. He's the kind of man who rarely takes an aspirin, never sick other than his open heart surgery a few years ago and even at that he refused pain medication and just toughed it out. I'm weak, I can't tough it out. So, that's where I stand right now. I've even lost my desire to blog anymore because I have no hope to offer anybody that has Secondary Hyperparathyroidism. It seems we will all just be cast off because we had gastric bypass and now we are paying for it. I didn't have the information at the time to make a good choice, none of this was mentioned because they didn't know about it. Reversing the bypass is useless and I am in no shape to do it anyway if it would. So.... there you have it, the lack of hope is all I can offer to anybody in m shape.